He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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