He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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