I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
