no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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