Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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