At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
did i walk over a car last night?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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