i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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