can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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