You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
