Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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