I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize