I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
