chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I currently don't understand fingers.
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