so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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