why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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