My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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