I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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