so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
