Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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