We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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