Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
