nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
