Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
