My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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