Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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