Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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