He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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