Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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