Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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