420 ftw
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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