How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
