Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
