Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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