$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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