Too much gin, very little bucket
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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