i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
