he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
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my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
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After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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