And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
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