and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize