it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize