belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
