did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
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I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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