i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were destined to go to rehab together
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize