Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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