Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
