Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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