Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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