I heard we made out
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
