Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
