The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize