Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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