I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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