Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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