the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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