u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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