So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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