I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
