so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
