I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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