North Korea, Best Korea!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
