i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
